


Turning Page

by Arcqne



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 14:44:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12773253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcqne/pseuds/Arcqne
Summary: Kestrel is scared of commitment, and when she has a serious argument with Cullen, she seeks out an ex for comfort.





	Turning Page

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my return to fic! I hope you all like it, and I promise Kestrel isn't a terrible person, I'll flesh her more out later! Enjoy!

Kestrel’s eyes are blazing when she looks at him from her spot against the wall. He can feel the outline of her seamlessly pressed against him. She stares into his eyes deeply, hands against his chest. Her expression is warm, liquid. Hopeful.

Bull regrets coming up to her room. Now that he knows not everything has changed. He can feel it in rhythm of her breaths and melody of her heartbeat. She’s still the Kestrel that lit their bedside candles with a snap of her fingers, that would wait in his quarters after a mission with a bottle of wine and coy smile. They’d stood like this so many times before. Her pinned against a railing, a door, a wall; he holding her in place and enjoying her for all she is. She’s Kestrel. The woman who saved the Chargers.

There’s history there. In the molten iron of her eyes, in her body language. Too much. Kestrel is hard to ignore at the best of times, but now it’s hard to breathe. To think. This is the closest they’ve been in a long time. He hates himself for thinking it, but too long.

He groans and she tilts her head just so, watching his face soften. He wraps an arm around her waist and she presses closer to him until it feels like there’s no air left in the room. Her shirt has slipped down to show acres of skin, as many dark freckles as there are stars in the sky.

She bites her lip and he’s swimming in the smell of fresh ozone and rain that clings to her curls. She extends her neck forward, and he can feel her breath on his skin. “Kestrel.”

“Bull.” Her voice is a breathy whisper. She buries her face in his neck and he tenses. Bull can feel her nip his shoulder with her teeth, and her hands slowly slip up his chest and fiddle with the buckles on his harness.

“I can’t do this,” he states after a few minutes of stalemate. Of her. Kestrel meets his eyes again for a heartbeat before bringing her dark lips to his ear.

“You don’t have to do a thing,” she says, her tone sickly sweet and low. Dangerous. Bull shudders at her voice. He can feel an arm snake around his neck and pull herself closer. “I don’t mind doing all the work.”

“We can’t do this.” 

He draws back, meeting her eyes again.

“I’m not going to sleep with you.” 

She pauses. Her eyes are wide and pupils large as she pulls away..

“Why not?” Kestrel whines with a frown. “Why’d you even come up here, then?” He sighs.

“I… look. What we had was great. Better than great.” Bull trails off. She turns away. He gently grips her chin and faces her towards him.

Her red lashes are wet with quiet tears, she looks wounded and raw. Kestrel silently pleads with him to let her break Cullen’s heart so she can go back to the way things used to be when her life was simple.

She searches his face for a moment before bringing their lips together and he lets her. Allows her to search for the passion they once shared and come up empty. Bull lets her beg for them to just be together again. His arms hang by his sides as she wraps herself around him trying to feel something long since past. 

It’s true that she is very much that same as she used to be. She looks the same, carries herself with a boisterous confidence that was always intoxicating. She’s the same woman who taught him to be free. But in just as many ways, she’s so different, now. Softer. She never used to cry, to plead. To  _ feel.  _ She’s not the Kestrel she pretended to be.

Bull feels when she gives up. Kestrel leans away from him, a limp hand still resting on his shoulder. Her fingernails dance down his arm before falling to her side. She looks defeated. She’s limp, propping herself against the wall.

He delicately wipes some makeup from her skin. “I miss you,” she whispers. She’s flushed, yanking up her shirt and avoiding his gaze.

“Kestrel,” he begins gently, like it whatever follows her name will sting any less. “You’re the one who broke up with me.”

“I know.”

“You said we were too similar.”

“…I know.”

“Then?”

Kestrel sighs, pressing further against the wall. Wishing she could just disappear. Bull raises a brow and she gives him a scathing look. “The world has fucked him over already. He doesn’t need me breaking his heart too.”

“Kes-”

“I just hoped that I could sleep with you like we used to, and Cullen would find out and leave me before I fuck it all up, okay?” Somewhere in the middle of the confession she’s started crying again, her smooth and accented words running together. “Fuck.” She shakes her head wistfully. Almost bitterly. “Why is this so fucking hard?”

“Because you love him.”

“I do.” She brings a hand up to his cheek and he leans into it. Kestrel shakes her head and smiles sadly. He returns the same look. 

Somehow, he hears her heart breaking.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed, feel free to check out Kestrel more at my tumblr! I do requests and prompts for her and stuff lol so drop by @ http://rannxch.tumblr.com/


End file.
